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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23878537">like a flood</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>in your oceans [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Homophobia, M/M, Making Out, Part of a series but can be read as, Pining, Shiratorizawa, Stand Alone, Swearing, Trans Goshiki Tsutomu, Trans Male Character, Transphobia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:40:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,145</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23878537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Be my fake boyfriend? Please? Pretty please?<br/>No, Eita. I won’t. No. Stop asking. This is a bad idea. No. I don’t want to.<br/></i><br/>Actually, Reon wants to be his fake boyfriend.<br/>But he doesn’t want to admit it.</p><p>In which Semi asks Reon to be his fake boyfriend to annoy his horribly conservative parents - and Reon develops feelings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Goshiki Tsutomu/Yamagata Hayato, Oohira Reon/Semi Eita</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>in your oceans [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1720924</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>like a flood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is for <a href="https://twitter.com/HQRareWeek2020">Haikyuu Rarepair week 2020</a> !!</p><p><b>Day 1</b> – <strike>Affinity</strike> // <strike>Coffee Shop</strike> // Fake Dating<strike>/Engagement/Marriage AU</strike></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>»<em> deep in your <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5dq1IFjs04">oceans</a></em><em>, you’re taking the air out of my chest</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>[7]</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“This is my boyfriend,” Eita says – and then hell breaks loose.</p><p>Reon is just standing there, a polite smile on his face, and probably for the first time in his life, he doesn’t feel bad about being a little mischievous.</p><p>Maybe he should take a leaf out of Eita’s book and rebel from time to time, too.</p><p> </p><p>[1]</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t do this,” Eita complains and maybe, just <em>maybe</em> Reon doesn’t take him seriously, because honestly, why would he? It’s half past six in the morning, it’s November and it is very, very cold outside. The few minutes it takes them going from their dorms to the gym are definitely enough for him to be freezing to the bone.</p><p>Also, Eita complains a lot, mostly about Shirabu. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t bother listening too closely while Eita goes on and on about how <em>this is unacceptable</em> and <em>why do I have to deal with this shit on my fucking birthday</em> and <em>they are such a bunch of homo- and transphobic assholes I wish they would rot in h</em>-</p><p>Well, that doesn’t sound like he’s talking about Shirabu.</p><p>Reon is too tired and too exhausted after a late-night emergency study session to listen more closely (<em>because Tendou forgot he has a biology test today, who else would call in an emergency study session like this, yes</em>).</p><p>Eita goes on as if he doesn’t realise Reon isn’t listening.</p><p>(<em>He probably doesn’t, so –</em>)</p><p>“You should’ve heard what she said when I told her about Tsutomu. Fucking bitch that she is, I don’t even want to repeat what she said, I wish she would just choke on her own disgusting attitude or something …”</p><p>Reon is still not quite sure whom Eita is talking about, but he <em>does</em> know how protective Eita feels towards their newest team addition, Goshiki Tsutomu.</p><p>He still remembers how Goshiki had asked the team to stay behind a little after practise on his first day, because he wanted to make an announcement. Reon had wondered what this tall, lanky boy with the bowl cut and his a little too high pitched voice would be going to say – apart from claiming he would be Shiratorizawa’s next ace, which he did a lot, and very loudly throughout practise that day – but then he’d told them.</p><p>“Like hell Tsutomu doesn’t belong to our team because he’s transgender?! What the fuck is wrong with her fucking mind, <em>ugh</em>, Reon I will <em>die</em> if I have to spend my birthday with my fucking shit ass family!”</p><p>Oh, now that makes sense.</p><p>Semi had been protective over Tsutomu ever since he first took a step into their gym (<em>maybe only outdone by Hayato, who got into a full blown fist fight because a guy from the basketball club had the audacity to mock Tsutomu in front of him</em>).</p><p>“I almost wish I was gay or something … Shit, sorry if this is rude or whatever but I <em>wish</em> I was just to rub it into their ugly ass shit fuck faces!”</p><p>“Eita,” Reon calls out softly. “Language.”</p><p>He’s answered only with a grunt.</p><p>“It’s alright, by the way, I didn’t deem it rude.”</p><p>Reon outed himself to Eita as soon as they started to share a room. He was set on making sure he wouldn’t have to hide, and nobody of them would have to be uncomfortable. He thought that, if his new roommate turned out to be an asshole, they’d still have a chance to change rooms or something.</p><p>Turned out Eita was more than OK with him being gay, even though he himself said he was straight, or, at least not really interested in anything besides music and volleyball.</p><p>To a certain extent, Reon understands.</p><p>It’s enough to fill the day, especially looking at the countless hours Eita spends practising playing guitar after volleyball training, when his fingers are already tired from countless set and served balls, but he still keeps going.</p><p>Where Reon sits and learns for tests, and does his homework, Eita holds his guitar and strokes chords as gently as any other person would hold a lover’s hand. Reon has watched him countless times, for over two years now.</p><p>He will never get tired of seeing the content smile on Eita’s lips when he –</p><p>“What am I supposed to <em>do</em> Reon, it’s in five days! On a fucking weekend! And we don’t have practise, I have <em>no</em> excuse to <em>not</em> go home but I will <em>die</em> or kill someone if they say something disgusting about Tsutomu or my lesbian cousin or …”</p><p>“Mh, that’s tough,” Reon says, blinking as if to help himself staying a little more aware of Eita’s presence. Maybe staying up until 2am wasn’t a good idea. Focusing is really not easy.</p><p>Especially not when Eita gets in front of him, stopping him in his tracks and looking at him with this … typical look he always has, one eyebrow down, the other up, his mouth a lopsided smile that does things to Reon. Even though he doesn’t know what exactly those things are.</p><p>“Are you alright? When did you come back, I haven’t heard you last night.”</p><p>“Around 2. Satori was very desperate.”</p><p>“I don’t understand why Wakatoshi didn’t try to strangle him so far. Satori’s habit of having mental breakdowns over all the schoolwork he decided to ignore throughout the day around midnight must cost him a lot of sleep.”</p><p>“Mh,” Reon huffs, holding out his freezing fingers and putting them on Eita’s shoulder. He steers him around and pushes slightly to get him to continue walking. Being late to practise would be the cherry on top of a cold, sleep-deprived morning.</p><p>“Honestly, I don’t think so,” Reon explains while Eita gives him a snort. “Wakatoshi went to bed at exactly 10pm and fell asleep just like that. When I was packing up and was about to leave, Satori climbed into his bed and under Wakatoshi’s covers, and still he didn’t even twitch. Not even when Satori arranged his arm around his shoulders and laid down to sleep.”</p><p>“Please,” Eita snorts, “please tell me you snapped a picture. I need to see this.”</p><p>“Of course I didn’t.”</p><p>“Party pooper …”</p><p>“Eita. If I’s snapped a picture of you doing all the things <em>Satori</em> would love to see you doing, so he could mock you until the dawn of the final day, you would kill me.”</p><p>“I would,” Eita agrees. “But I thought, y’know, we were something special? Since we’re best friends and share a room and stuff?”</p><p>“Satori is your best friend. Not me.” As Eita gasps, Reon can’t help but laugh.</p><p>It has been like this ever since he entered Shiratorizawa. And he likes it that way.</p><p>“Come on. We’ll be late for practise if we don’t hurry up.”</p><p> </p><p>[2]</p><p> </p><p>Practise comes and goes, and at some point, Eita falls silent, and it seems like he’s deep in thought.</p><p>When they’re in their locker room, with Tsutomu being the last to come out of the showers – they have a silent agreement to shower as fast as possible, as to let him have the showers for himself for a while, even though he insisted they didn’t have to – Reon watches Eita, who himself watches Hayato, who seems to watch Tsutomu fiddling with the hems of his binder.</p><p>Reon shifts his attention to them as to make out why Eita is watching them so intently.</p><p>“Hey, c’mere,” Hayato says, a smile tugging at his lips. Tsutomu blinks at him, a cute blush spreading on his cheeks.</p><p>Out of all their kouhai, Tsutomu is definitely the most adorable one.</p><p>He scoots closer, and as Hayato motions to him to turn around, he complies.</p><p>Then, Hayato mutters something under his breath. Reon is not sure if he heard right, but it would explain the flush on Tsutomu’s cheeks, and the way he nods.</p><p>
  <em>Can I touch you?</em>
</p><p>Surprised, Reon stares at them and watches Hayato, as he grabs the hem of the binder and tucks it down a little more, soothing out folds that have build up because Tsutomu is always too eager and too much in a hurry to dry himself up properly, which causes the tight fabric to throw a lot of folds.</p><p>“There you go,” Hayato says, patting Tsutomu’s back gently.</p><p>Their kouhai, now beet red, turns around and bows down eagerly, which almost causes him to bump his head into Hayato’s, who still stands close to him.</p><p>“Thank you, Yamagata-senpai!!” He yells.</p><p>No one turns around to look at why Tsutomu is yelling again. By now, they’re used to it.</p><p>Eita on the other hand leans closer to Reon and asks: “Did you see what I just saw?”</p><p>“I think so.”</p><p>“Then, do you <em>think</em> what I am thinking?”</p><p>Reon looks at him, brows crunched up a little.</p><p>“I’m not sure. What <em>are</em> you thinking?”</p><p>“Oh …” Eita hums. “Maybe … ah, it’s nothing.”</p><p>Reon gives him a puzzled glance, but Eita only smiles and turns around to continue packing his bag.</p><p> </p><p>[3]</p><p> </p><p>“I have an idea.”</p><p><em>Oh no</em>, Reon thinks, but he doesn’t say it out loud. If he’s honest with himself, he doesn’t want to know what kind of idea that might be. Knowing Eita, he will still tell him.</p><p>“Reon. We are friends, right?”</p><p><em>Oh no</em>, he thinks again.</p><p>If Eita starts like this, it must be something horrible.</p><p>“Well. Yes,” he answers, nonetheless.</p><p>“Then do you think … as my friend, I mean, my <em>best</em> friend, the <em>bestest</em> friend in the world …”</p><p>“Satori is your best friend.”</p><p>“Debatable – so, as my <em>bestest</em> friend in the world … would you like to be my fake boyfriend and come with me visiting my family on my birthday?”</p><p>“Oh no,” Reon says.</p><p>“Reon, please!”</p><p>“I will not be your fake boyfriend.”</p><p>“Reon!” Eita whines and he gets up from his bed, putting his guitar to the side, as to come over to Reon’s desk. “It’s important! They are such a bunch of assholes, I swear to God, I <em>need</em> to rub their own bigotry into their faces! It’s … it’s for the greater good! Wouldn’t you want to be my fake boyfriend?”</p><p>“No,” Reon says again, only giving him a short look before turning back to his chemistry homework.</p><p>Eita gasps.</p><p>“Do you think I’m not handsome enough to be your fake boyfriend?”</p><p><em>The problem is</em>, Reon thinks and he tries very hard to not look at his roommate just now, <em>that I think you’re way too handsome. For your own good and for mine. You’re so beautiful that looking at you hurts sometimes and I never know what to do with this sudden pang in my chest when you look at me and smile like no one else exists for you in this moment.</em></p><p>He shakes his head as to get rid of these thoughts. He has them, every once in a while, but he forbids himself to think any further. They are <em>friends</em>. He can’t ruin this by suddenly … crushing on Eita, or something like that.</p><p>“You’re handsome and you know it. The thing is, I don’t like lying. And I don’t even know your family, what if they aren’t <em>that</em> bad? I don’t want to be rude.”</p><p>“Reon. My bestest friend alive. Mr. Attractive. Darling.” Semi scoots a little closer. If he starts babbling incoherent stuff like this, it must be very, very serious.</p><p>There’s a glint in his eyes that startles Reon a little. His face is too close for Reon’s comfort. He can feel Eita’s breath on his cheek, able to smell a sweet hint in it, because Eita had been snacking on chocolate a few moments ago.</p><p>“If you wonder what to gift me for my birthday, this would be the only thing I truly wish for right now. Be my fake boyfriend. I promise I’ll make it up to you somehow. I will not let you down, OK, I owe you one, then. You can be sure my family <em>deserves</em> this. You should’ve heard what my mother said about Tsutomu …”</p><p>“Eita,” Reon sighs. He puts down his pen and tries to turn around, but his roommate is way too close. “What if something bad happens? Annoying them a little is one thing but getting disowned is another. You should not risk damaging your relationship with your family like this.”</p><p>It’s not like Reon knows what it is like to have a bad relationship with one’s  family. In fact, he can’t even imagine what it must feel like. His mother had always been supportive, and when he came out to her, she hugged him tightly and said she already had a hunch that he was gay, and that it was fine – <em>he</em> was fine just the way he was.</p><p>“Listen, my family is a bunch of conservative assholes. But they can adapt. I know it. My father forbade me to play guitar and wear eyeliner, you see, and when I still did it, he looked slightly displeased for three weeks and then ignored it. Same goes for my mother. It’s my way to force them to overthink their own homophobia. Don’t you see, Reon? We would do them a favour!”</p><p>Reon still isn’t so sure. It somehow makes sense to him, and well, <em>maybe</em> he wouldn’t mind being Eita’s fake boyfriend for a while. But at the same time, he is scared.</p><p>What if … just <em>what if</em> he really developed feelings for his friend? He would have to go home with him, maybe hold his hand, and, as to prove their relationship, and look at Eita with much more fondness and longing in his eyes.</p><p>(<em>It’s not like he never did that, to be honest, he knows he’s doing this quite frequently, but he always stops himself when he notices. He just fears it might get out of hand – and Eita cannot know. He just can’t</em>.)</p><p>“Reon,” Eita whispers, coming even closer. Reon’s heart starts to pound even harder as he feels the intensive gaze on him. He stares into Eita’s dark eyes and then, he watches his gaze flicker down, to his lips.</p><p>“Reon … please … I promise you won’t regret it …”</p><p>Warm, sweet breath dances over his lips. Suddenly, Eita’s voice is a little raspier, and it does things to Reon’s pulse. He’s not sure if this is healthy, feeling his heart pound like it’s about to break his ribcage, but what can he do, there’s no way to pry himself away, not when this is <em>Eita</em> who’s looking at him like this.</p><p>(<em>Maybe he was already lost before he knew it. He just didn’t want to admit it</em>).</p><p>In a split second, Eita leans forward and breathes a kiss onto Reon’s lips before he pulls away completely and goes back to his bed as if nothing happened.</p><p>“Please think about it!” He says so casually as if he didn’t kind of, maybe, almost kissed Reon.</p><p>He hurries to hide his face in his chemistry book and hopes Eita doesn’t notice how bright red his face is.</p><p> </p><p>[4]</p><p> </p><p>“Look at them,” Eita says.</p><p>“Yes. I am looking.”</p><p>“No. Jesus, Wakatoshi, <em>look</em>.”</p><p>“I … am looking. Yes, Eita.”</p><p>Reon can’t help but to close his eyes. It takes him every ounce of self-control he has not to laugh, or to yell, or to die on spot.</p><p>It has been two days since the incident in their room and while Reon tries his best to not think about it, Eita occasionally drops a hint or two (or threefourfivesixseven) about how his birthday is approaching. And then he asks him, again and again, and it doesn’t feel good, but well, it also <em>does</em> feel good somehow. Reon knows he doesn’t make sense.</p><p>
  <em>Be my fake boyfriend? Please? Pretty please?</em>
</p><p><em>No, Eita. I won’t. No. Stop asking. This is a bad idea. No. I don’t want to</em>.</p><p>Actually, Reon wants to be his fake boyfriend.</p><p>But he doesn’t want to admit it.</p><p>“But do you <em>see,</em> Wakatoshi?” Eita hisses, voice a desperate edge in it.</p><p>Reon can’t look at them. It’s ridiculous.</p><p>Wakatoshi moves a little. Reon only knows because the bush they are hiding behind rustles lowly.</p><p>“I see, yes.”</p><p>“What do you see, then, huh? Jesus fucking Christ Reon help me. I can’t believe you all fail to <em>see</em> this! Someone needs to help them, they’re so fucking oblivious it pains me!”</p><p>Reon opens his eyes again and takes a deep breath. Somehow, he gets what Eita is trying to tell them, but then again, he doesn’t.</p><p>“I see,” Wakatoshi says slowly, blinking at the scene in front of them, “Yamagata and Goshiki. They are sitting on a bench and eating lunch.”</p><p>Reon knows Eita is <em>this</em> close to pop a vein when he hears him saying: “Did you not fucking see how Hayato literally <em>fed</em> him this fucking whatever it was?! He put his chopsticks into Tsutomu’s fucking mouth and Tsutomu almost caught fire! Jesus what is <em>wrong</em> with you all?!”</p><p>“It did not look like Goshiki was about to catch fire. I did not see any smoke.”</p><p>“It’s a matter of speech!! Jesus fuck, Reon, help me! Don’t they look like … like … <em>something</em>?!”</p><p>“They look like friends, yes.”</p><p>“Reon!! Do friends feed each other?! I don’t think so! Jesus fucking Christ!”</p><p><em>But</em>, Reon thinks, <em>friends do also not almost kiss. Friends do not fake date. Friends do not feel like this, messed up and guilty and excited, all at the same time</em>.</p><p>“Wakatoshi! Would you feed … I don’t know, Kenjirou like this?! You wouldn’t!”</p><p>“If he asked me to,” Wakatoshi replies, and this is the point at which Reon knows he must drag Eita away, or he will either blow their disguise or have a stroke.</p><p>“Come on, Eita,” he says and puts a hand on his friend’s tense shoulder. “Let’s go eat something.”</p><p>“Will <em>you</em> fucking feed me then?! Like a true fucking friend because friends fucking do that?!” He spits.</p><p>“If you want me to,” Reon only answers.</p><p>Eita growls in reply.</p><p> </p><p>[5]</p><p> </p><p>He does it – feeding Eita. He does it, and when Wakatoshi’s mouth twitches a little, Reon feels a bit more at ease.</p><p>Eita scowls at him while he alternates between putting a piece of Tamago in his own mouth, and then another one into Eita’s. His heart flutters a little (<em>a lot</em>), but it’s not the worst feeling.</p><p>Especially when Satori looks at them with hooded eyes, obviously contemplating, and then turns over to Wakatoshi to ask him to feed him, too.</p><p>And Wakatoshi does.</p><p>Of course he does.</p><p> </p><p>[6]</p><p> </p><p>“Reon,” Eita whispers into the darkness of their room.</p><p>It’s midnight, and both should be fast asleep, but neither of them is.</p><p>“Yes?” He answers.</p><p>“Reon … Please accompany me on Saturday. I will not survive if I go alone.”</p><p>“You <em>will</em> survive. I know it.”</p><p>There’s shuffling, and then footsteps, and then his mattress sinks a little under the newly added weight.</p><p>Reon opens his eyes and faintly sees Eita hovering above him.</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>“Can I kiss you?”</p><p>Reon’s heart stops beating for a few seconds, only to pound even harder when it starts doing its job again.</p><p>“W-why would you … want to kiss me?”</p><p>“Please?”</p><p><em>This is a bad idea</em>, is what Reon wants to say. He wants to laugh and to tell him off, but nothing more than a rough sound escapes his own mouth.</p><p>Eita takes this as a yes, and as he leans down, minty breath ghosting over Reon’s mouth, he knows – it’s too late.</p><p>It’s too late to back out of this.</p><p>Eita’s lips are so, so soft.</p><p>They melt onto his, hot and a little moist, capturing his breath in Reon’s chest. It only takes a mere seconds before Eita pulls back again.</p><p>Reon doesn’t know what to say. He wants to pull him down again, wants him to lie down next to him and kiss him until the sun rises. He wants him close, wants to taste and feel and breathe him –</p><p>“Be my fake boyfriend,” Eita whispers again.</p><p>He leans down, placing a soft kiss on the edge of his mouth. And again, directly onto his lips, this time.</p><p>Eita’s hand finds his way onto his chest and <em>damn</em> he must feel how fast Reon’s heart is beating.</p><p>“Please, Reon …”</p><p>And just like that, he gives in.</p><p> </p><p>[7]</p><p> </p><p>“This is my boyfriend,” Eita says – and then hell breaks loose.</p><p>While Eita’s mother looks like she is about to faint, his father goes sickly pale. There’s his aunt, who is also his godmother, if Reon recollects this correctly, and she just stares at Reon as if he were just spawned from hell.</p><p>Reon is just standing there, a polite smile on his face, and probably for the first time in his life, he doesn’t feel bad about being a little mischievous.</p><p>“Your … your … your …” Eita’s mother stutters and watches in horror as her son scoots closer to Reon and puts his arm around his waist, head leaning onto his shoulder while smiling so sweetly it almost gives him carious.</p><p>“Boyfriend, yes. We’ve only been together for a few weeks, but I love him very much. Reon is my teammate.”</p><p>Maybe he should take a leaf out of Eita’s book and rebel from time to time, too.</p><p>He pulls Eita a little closer and smiles when he feels a peck on his cheek.</p><p>“Semi-san, it’s my pleasure to meet you. Eita told me a lot about you. He was looking forward to spending time with you on his birthday.”</p><p>There are fingers pinching the skin on his back, but Reon doesn’t even twitch. He smiles only a little brighter when Eita’s mother visibly tries to regain her composure.</p><p>She smiles at them – or at least, tries to – and says: “Oh! Ah, well, honey, you didn’t tell us! … I mean … I am happy for you … two …”</p><p>“Thanks mum! I hope this is OK? I know I didn’t tell you I would bring him, but I wanted to surprise you.”</p><p>His father’s eye twitches horribly when he answers: “This sure is a surprise.” But he also tries to not let it show too much, and while Reon can see how they are <em>not</em> fond of the idea of their son having a boyfriend, they try their best to not lose their composure. Somehow, he can’t help but appreciate it. Maybe Eita was right. They can learn.</p><p>“Should we go and eat some cake?” Eita’s mother asks with a high-pitched voice and turns around to go into the kitchen and fetch the cake she made for her son.</p><p>The other adults turn around, too, and it is just then that Reon looks at Eita, and Eita looks at him, and when he gives him a soft kiss out of nowhere, Reon almost pulls him closer and deepens the affectionate gesture. Like he’s already forgetting that this will end tonight once they get back on campus.</p><p>“Thank you,” Eita mouths and smiles at him.</p><p>Reon can’t help it. He lowers his head again, breathing a kiss onto Eita’s lips, and when he feels him reciprocating the gesture, his heart skips a beat.</p><p>(<em>He doesn’t notice Eita’s father standing in the doorway, looking back at them. He doesn’t notice him sighing silently, and then smiling a little. He doesn’t notice Eita’s mother downing a glass of whisky. Or his aunt shedding a tear or two about how she was looking forward to Eita marrying a sweet girl someday. He doesn’t notice, because he’s to occupied basking in the feeling of Eita’s soft lips on his, and his arms around his waist, and it feels way too good</em>.)</p><p> </p><p>[8]</p><p> </p><p>After all, Eita’s small birthday party is not too bad. His parents and his aunt try their best. They also gift him supplies for his guitar and volleyball equipment. And neither of them says a bad word about gay people, or transgender people, or people of colour.</p><p>When they get back on campus, Eita doesn’t let go of his hand until they’re back in their room.</p><p>“Thank you, Reon,” he says and gives him a smile that sets his chest aflame. “Thank you, really.”</p><p>“Happy birthday,” Reon only replies, and he smiles in hopes it might conceal the ruckus in his chest.</p><p>(<em>He gives Eita his actual birthday presents a little later, a set of new chords and a plectrum with the picture of a silver skull on it, and Semi stares at it with such intensity that Reon almost fears he got the wrong ones. But when Eita kisses his cheek, he knows it is alright. And he’s happy</em>.)</p><p> </p><p>[9]</p><p> </p><p>It takes him three days to realise Eita has drilled a hole into the plectrum and wears it on a leather string around his neck. Or, well, he doesn’t realise it himself, he hears Satori asking why he wears his guitar supplies as accessories, and Eita shushes him so harshly that even Tsutomu winces.</p><p>Reon tries to will his heart to beat slower.</p><p>It doesn’t comply.</p><p> </p><p>[10]</p><p> </p><p>“I will lose my mind,” Eita whispers. “I will lose my fucking mind. I will go bald. The stress will make my hair fall out and I will go bald and then I will have a stroke and <em>die</em> –“</p><p>“Should we tell them?” Satori asks silently.</p><p>Wakatoshi blinks at the scene, not saying a word.</p><p>Reon shakes his head.</p><p>“Leave them alone. They will realise sooner or later. Let them explore this at their own pace.”</p><p>The almost bleak bush rustles as Eita drops onto his knees and bites hard into his knuckles as to not yell at them to get their <em>fucking shit</em> together and <em>confess already</em>.</p><p>Because, in front of them, there’s Yamagata Hayato, and he sits on a bench, and there is Goshiki Tsutomu who’s lying down, even though it’s too cold to do so, and while his head clearly does not rest on Hayato’s thigh, he’s too close to let this seem casual.</p><p>And the calloused, scraped fingers of their libero combing gently through pitch-black, pin straight hair –</p><p>And the look on Hayato’s face –</p><p>And the smile tugging at Tsutomu’s lips in his sleep, as if he feels the tender touch –</p><p>“Come on,” Reon says. “Let them have their privacy for once.”</p><p>He puts a hand on Eita’s shoulder, and when he feels him grabbing it, intertwining their fingers, he can’t help but think, <em>I want this. I wish we had what they have. I want Eita to look at me like Hayato looks at Tsutomu. I want this, too.</em></p><p> </p><p>[11]</p><p> </p><p>“My mum asked if we’d want to come over for dinner sometime soon,” Eita says one evening, out of the blue.</p><p>It’s early December, and they just left evening practise. It’s cold outside, the first snow is falling and clinging onto Eita’s still wet hair.</p><p>“Dinner?”</p><p>“Yes, because you are my boyfriend,” Eita grins at him. “Seems like they’re trying really hard to adjust to their only son being gay or something.”</p><p>Reon only hums in response.</p><p>“What do you think, Reon?”</p><p>“I’m not your boyfriend.”</p><p>“Well,” Eita says, “we never broke up if I recall it correctly.”</p><p>“Should we, then? Maybe your parents already learned their lesson.”</p><p>Eita goes very silent and he doesn’t say a word until Reon lifts his gaze to look at him. Their eyes meet. They stop walking. Staring at each other without blinking, longer than friends should stare into each other’s eyes.</p><p>Then, Eita smiles, and the fragility of this gesture hurts Reon, even though he can’t figure why.</p><p>“Maybe I don’t want to break up.”</p><p> </p><p>[12]</p><p> </p><p>Sometime between Christmas and New Year’s, Reon comes over to Eita’s house.</p><p>This time, his parents greet Reon like they mean it, and Reon is truly surprised.</p><p>“Dear,” his mother says, giving him a warm smile and pulling him close for a short, but friendly hug. “Thank you for coming over. Eita was missing you, it’s really hard to endure.”</p><p>Reon blinks at her confusedly.</p><p>Eita’s father gives him a small nod, and when Reon hands them a Christmas gift his mother wrapped (<em>a bottle of a wine and a box of chocolates</em>), he offers a smile and thanks him.</p><p>Then, there’s Eita.</p><p>He’s wearing a weird choice of clothes, a pair of striped pants, black and white, and an oversized black hoodie with a lot of holes in it. His eyes are accentuated by a thick layer of makeup, black eyeliner and some smoky eye shadow, and he’s wearing a choker. The plectrum Reon had gifted him for his birthday is dangling on the choker as if it belonged there, and nowhere else.</p><p>Eita’s parents watch them for a second before deciding that it is better to let two teenage boys who are seemingly in love with each other alone after not seeing each other for three days.</p><p>As soon as they made their way into the kitchen, a heavy weight plummets into Reon’s arms, and he hugs the warm bundle tightly for a too-long-to-be-casual-time.</p><p>“Hey,” he whispers.</p><p>“Hey,” Eita whispers back as he lifts his head.</p><p>His eyes look amazing like this. Reon could stare forever, and he does – the staring, that is. Staring until said eyes close themselves and maybe Eita’s parents are watching them, maybe that’s why he does this, but Eita closes in and presses his lips onto Reon’s.</p><p>It feels like coming home. It feels like someone lit a fire inside of him that is burning mercilessly, devouring him whole.</p><p>It feels like everything he ever longed for.</p><p> </p><p>[13]</p><p> </p><p>“You can stay overnight,” Eita says as they do the dishes. Dinner was nice. Everything was nice.</p><p>Now, Eita’s voice is shaking a little, and so do Reon’s hands as he takes the clean plate Eita hands him.</p><p>“I could do this, yes,” Reon replies, voice just as vulnerable.</p><p>“Then stay.”</p><p> </p><p>[14]</p><p> </p><p>They are in Eita’s room, and it’s awkward. The air is filled with tension, but Reon doesn’t know where it comes from, or what to do, really. It’s just – <em>there</em>. And he sits down on Eita’s bed, while his hands are shaking, and he hopes – but what for, he doesn’t know.</p><p>Eita looks at him, eyes wide, pupils delated, standing in front of the bed.</p><p>One heartbeat.</p><p>Two.</p><p>Three.</p><p>And then, everything happens really, really fast.</p><p>It’s not like Reon expected Eita to sit on his lap so suddenly, his chiselled thighs pressing onto Reon’s.</p><p>It’s not like he did anything besides sitting there and –</p><p>A strangled sound escaped his mouth as Eita’s lips crash on his’. His heart skips a beat (<em>or, maybe a little more than one, who knows</em>), and the calloused fingers which press themselves into Reon’s shoulders only add to the overwhelming amount of sensory input he gets.</p><p>Eita’s lips are warm, and a little too wet, and his whole body shakes as if he was on fire, slowly burning from the inside, incapable of stopping himself from … kissing Reon.</p><p>Normally, Reon would push him away. He would ask him to stay calm, and level-headed and to maybe discuss things before doing anything or going at a too quick pace. After all, until five minutes ago they were fake dating to annoy Eita’s parents a little, and now Eita sits on his lap and his tongue is –</p><p>At this point, Reon gives in. His mind shuts down, and his heart and body move on autopilot. After all, he is not dumb. He has known he was about to fall for Eita and now …</p><p>He reciprocates the kiss, lips opening slightly as to let his tongue in.</p><p>The wet, hot feeling against his own sends shivers down his spine, makes him clutch at Eita’s thighs as if they were a lifeline.</p><p>A strangled moan tumbles into his mouth, and Eita scoots closer, upper body pressed flushed against his own.</p><p>It’s so <em>warm</em>. So warm, and exciting, and <em>right</em> and he’s –</p><p>“Eita,” he mouths, trying to pull himself away, but Eita only starts nibbling on his lower lip and it feels way too good. “Eita … what are we … are we doing here …?”</p><p>For a split second, Eita lets go of him and looks at him with such an intensive gaze that Reon suddenly is very happy he’s sitting and not standing. He’s sure his knees would’ve given in.</p><p>“Making out,” he huffs, smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, lips swollen and red from kissing and biting. “Thought it was obvious. Should we not?”</p><p>He scoots closer again, but Reon <em>must</em> know, he cannot let himself get emotionally attached just to be hurt right after when Semi decides their fake relationship will come to an end.</p><p>“You’re not gay,” Reon sighs as Eita starts nibbling on his lower lip again.</p><p>Eita just hums in response.</p><p>“I – I think I like you, Eita.”</p><p>That makes him stop.</p><p>Reon’s heart drops as he sees how wide-eyed Eita looks at him. He stares and stares and stares – and then, red blotches creep up his neck, his ears and cheeks and nose getting concerningly red.</p><p>“I … I …. You …”</p><p>Reon gulps. It doesn’t matter if it hurts. It’s better to stop this now before their friendship takes a damage. He would get over this. He’s strong.</p><p>(<em>Or maybe he just </em>hopes <em>he’s strong enough to handle it, but even if not, he knows his friends will help him. He knows Hayato is amazing at comforting people after heartbreak, and Satori will always help to make him laugh again, and Wakatoshi will be with him and silently comfort him and everything will be alright eventually, he just hast to</em> –)</p><p>“I like you, Eita,” he repeats a little louder. He pries his hands away from the other boy’s thighs and gives him the chance to climb off his lap.</p><p>But he doesn’t do anything like that.</p><p>Instead, Eita leans forward and presses his face into Reon’s shoulder. He’s slightly shivering at this point and Reon thinks he might be crying.</p><p>Until he suddenly murmurs: “I … think I … like you, too …”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>Reon can’t help it, he’s too stunned.</p><p>Eita snaps: “I <em>said</em> I like you <em>too</em>, Jesus fucking Christ Reon stop making me repeat myself it’s <em>embarrassing</em> ….”</p><p>“But … since when? I thought you were straight, and this was just … you know, to annoy your parents?”</p><p>Eita takes a couple of deep breaths until he answers.</p><p>“I dunno. I just … when I kissed you that night … and … I dunno. It just felt so right. I wanted to keep going on for hours. It … doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl or non-binary or whatever, I just … like <em>you</em> …”</p><p>It just then that Reon feels how, for the first time in weeks, he’s able to breathe freely. A sob escapes his mouth, and he slings his arms around Eita’s waist to pull him as close as possible.</p><p>He didn’t know how much he was hurting until now.</p><p>Eita holds him so close that it feels like their frantic heartbeats combine, and together, they slow down to a steady, quiet pace.</p><p>A quiet peace both of them let themselves fall into as they kiss again, the first real touch, their very first kiss as boyfriends.</p><p> </p><p>[15]</p><p> </p><p>“My <em>fucking</em> goodness …”</p><p>“Eita, no.”</p><p>“I can’t look at them any longer it’s driving me <em>insane</em>.”</p><p>It’s January, and they decided, as a team bonding measure, they would go to the movies. It’s cold, and it’s snowing, and Yamagata Hayato just took Goshiki Tsutomu’s freezing hand and put it into the pocket of his jacket, fingers intertwined, as to keep him warm.</p><p>“I can’t take this anymore, I will tell them to get their fucking shit together and –“</p><p>“You will <em>not</em> do this,” Reon scolds softly and pulls him closer, snaking an arm around his boyfriend’s waist. “Leave them alone. They will figure it out.”</p><p>“But <em>when</em>, Reon, <em>when</em>, I can’t <em>take this anymore</em>!”</p><p>As Reon laughs, Satori lets himself fall behind a little, accompanying Wakatoshi who is walking contently behind their group, watching his teammates and feeling very much at peace.</p><p>“Say, ‘toshi …” Satori starts, staring at Reon and Eita with unconcealed amusement, “should we <em>tell</em> them someday that watching them pining after each other, completely oblivious, was just as painful? Eita really didn’t realise. Silly bean.”</p><p>“Mh.” Wakatoshi hums. He watches his teammates, no, <em>friends</em>, and can’t help but smile a little.</p><p>Eita hisses at Reon and gets a small kiss on his forehead in response.</p><p>Hayato sighs somewhere at the front, pulling off his own scarf and wrapping it around Tsutomu’s bare neck.</p><p>“No,” Wakatoshi says, while watching them. “I think we should keep this to ourselves.”</p><p>Satori cackles, bumping his elbow into Wakatoshi’s side.</p><p>“They are dumbasses. But I still love them, you see. What a bunch of weirdos.”</p><p>“Well,” Wakatoshi says. “I agree.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Talk to me on <a href="https://twitter.com/kaashiboo">twitter</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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